redtail's debt: part two

Redtail is upset about the upcoming battle, but Tigerclaw gives him a pep talk pointing out that they need to protect their borders and no one will get hurt as everyone will be out of the camp hunting and patrolling. They are just going there to destroy the camp. This reassures Redtail, who is worried that Stagleap will feel betrayed by him. However, when they get to the camp to destroy it, Tigerclaw has no problem attacking the undefended cats. Much to Redtail's horror Tigerclaw wounds a queen and threatens her kits right after another ThunderClan warrior had just reassured her. As the camp gets wrecked Bluefur refuses to let her warriors attack the medicine den. Tigerclaw calls her soft but Bluefur stands her ground. WindClan's warriors return, led by Stagleap, and a fight breaks out. Redtail feels guilty at the disappointed look Stagleap gives him. Bluefur becomes badly wounded and is unable to call a retreat so Redtail calls one. Tigerclaw is furious with him but Redtail stands his ground. As the ThunderClan cats leave Tigerclaw calls Redtail a coward. Redtail sees what Tigerclaw truly is for the first time. He tells Tigerclaw he no longer owes him anything. He realizes he is loyal to ThunderClan, not Tigerclaw. 

Time has passed and Bluefur is now Bluestar with Redtail as her deputy. Tigerclaw is furious that Redtail called a retreat in battle over Sunningrocks but Redtail stands by his decision and Bluestar supports him. Later, Redtail overhears Tigerclaw as he tries to undermine Redtail by convincing Bluestar to let him mark Sunningrocks as their own again. Bluestar gives him permission for this, but specifically tells him not to fight. Tigerclaw realizes Redtail overheard everything and tells him not to try and stop him. Redtail says he doesn't want to stop him, he wants to help him. Tigerclaw is surprised by this but Redtail has two motives - marking Sunningrocks and keeping an eye on Tigerclaw.

Dustpaw begs Redtail for permission to go, pointing out that Ravenpaw is going. Redtail refuses his apprentice and worries about taking Ravenpaw along. He makes a comment to Tigerclaw about this but Tigerclaw mocks Redtail and rubs it in that Redtail should know he would keep an apprentice safe. The three cats head out to Sunningrocks, and Redtail talks with Ravenpaw. He hears echos of Tigerclaw in Ravenpaw's chatter about being a warrior and resolves to talk with Bluestar when they return to camp. They reach Sunningrocks and start to mark their territory when a RiverClan patrol led by their deputy, Oaheart, finds them. It seems like a fight will break out and the ThundClan cats are outnumbered. But Redtail and Oakheart seem to reach a temporary agreement. The cats are about to part ways when Tigerclaw attacks.

Redtail tells Ravenpaw to run, but Ravenpaw refuses stating Tigerclaw was right about Redtail. Redtail feels momentarily annoyed that Tigerclaw is badmouthing him to an apprentice but shifts his focus back to the fight that is breaking out. Redtail realizes Ravenpaw is in danger and places himself between the RiverClan warriors and the apprentice. He tells Ravenpaw to run but the apprentice refuses. He gives him an order to go back to camp and get help, but Tigerclaw undermines him by taunting Ravenpaw into joining the fight. Oakheart threatens to kill Ravenpaw so Redtail attacks him, accidentally killing him.

Tigerclaw voices surprise at Oakheart's death, stating he didn't think Redtail had it in him. But Redtail is furious and privately blames Tigerclaw for the death of Oakheart. The fight momentarily broken up Redtail orders Ravenpaw back to camp. Ravenpaw refuses again, stating he owes Redtail. Angry, Redtail insists that Ravenpaw owes him nothing. Tigerclaw backs Redtail and insists Ravenpaw leave. Tigerclaw goes to resume the fight but Redtail declares it over and the remaining RiverClan cats flee. As Redtail watches them go Tigerclaw strikes, killing him. As he lay dying Tigerclaw says it is for the good of the clan, as they need a real deputy, and that Redtail should have been loyal to him since he saved his life. Redtail awakens in StarClan, where Sunstar greets him. Distraught, he begs Sunstar to send him back as his clan has no clue a murderer lives amongst them. Sunstar says he cannot send him back, and takes him to a pool so he can see what is happening at camp right now. He sees Tigerclaw giving a report and wonders what lies he is telling now. Then he sees a stranger amongst his clanmates. Sunstar tells him this cat is about to be named Firepaw. The words of the prophecy "fire alone will save your clan" come to mind as he realizes Firepaw, not Tigerclaw, is his clan's future. And he knows his clan will be just fine without him.

When Redtail died before it meant nothing. I'm not sure Rusty even met Redtail. I think he only met Bluestar and Lionheart before joining the clan. He was just an announcement when he was first taken to the camp - that Redtail was dead, killed by Oakheart who Tigerclaw killed in revenge. Redtail was never anything more than a name used to fuel Tigerstar's ambition. It was nice to see him get some backstory, to have his character fleshed out. And, it gave some backstory on Tigerstar. His justification for killing Redtail further explained. It wasn't just a desire to be deputy. Tigerstar felt that Redtail had betrayed him. He saved Redtail as an apprentice so Redtail should have been just as loyal as Darkstripe and Longtail.

It was good to see Redtail stand up to Tigerclaw, even though it was obvious it was coming. And it was especially nice to see Redtail reject Ravenpaw's feeling of indebtedness. He was probably thinking of his own supposed debt to Tigerclaw, and didn't want Ravenpaw manipulated the way he was when he was an apprentice.

redtail's debt: part one

Redpaw and Willowpaw, siblings, are doing chores in the camp while they talk about Tigerclaw. He has been named a warrior and he is striving to be the best at everything. Willowpaw thinks he is arrogant and full of himself while Redpaw idolizes him because Tigerclaw really does seem to be the best at everything. Redpaw watches as a hunting patrol that includes Tigerclaw and Sparrowpelt, his mentor, return. They immediately go to a meeting with Sunstar and Tawnyspots, the deputy. Redpaw listens as Sparrowpelt and Tigerclaw report on Sunningrocks and the endless argument with RiverClan over who that land belongs to. Tigerclaw wants a battle while Sunstar wants to avoid one. In the end it is decided to divide the warriors with a show of force at RiverClan's camp led by Sunstar and a couple of warriors with the apprentices as a reserve force if needed. Tigerclaw is upset that he will be left with the apprentices. Redpaw is both excited and terrified to be in his first battle. 

The two groups head out. Redpaw is nervous and unsure but Tigerclaw gives him a pep talk about being a warrior. Redpaw knows some of Tigerclaw's advice sounds wrong, but he is in awe of the older warrior who is so brave and sure of himself. As they wait in their position Tigerclaw and Bluefur argue over waiting. Tigerclaw wants to attack as Bluefur reminds him they are a reserve force. When they hear sounds of a battle in the RiverClan camp they start to head in that direction but a hawk attack forces them to turn back. All the apprentices run but Redpaw, who freezes in place. 

The hawk focuses his attack on Redpaw when Tigerclaw appears, taking on the hawk by himself. The distraction is what Sparrowpelt needs to save his apprentice. Tigerclaw chases the hawk off and Redpaw thanks him, stating he is in Tigerclaw's debt. Sparrowpelt stays behind with Redpaw and Willowpaw as everyone else goes to see how the battle went. Willowpaw is so grateful Tigerclaw saved her brother she says the older warrior can be as arrogant as he wants. The warriors return with news that the battle is over and ThunderClan lost. Redpaw is upset as he feels he is to blame. Tigerclaw tells Redpaw not to worry, as he didn't deliberately sabotage the plan and that no matter what the other warriors say, he will stick up for Redpaw before Sunstar. Redpaw is now even more upset - and even more grateful for Tigerclaw.

Redpaw and Willowpaw have their warrior ceremony, and are renamed Redtail and Willowpelt. Everyone celebrates but Redtail notices Tigerclaw isn't. He can't stop thinking about the mistake he made as an apprentice and wonders if Tigerclaw doesn't find him worthy to be a warrior. Tigerclaw invites Redtail to go hunting with him and Redtail accepts. While they are out hunting a WindClan apprentice, Sorrelpaw, accidentally crosses into their territory while chasing a rabbit. She is separated from her mentor and vulnerable, and Tigerclaw manipulates Redtail into attacking her. Redtail accidentally hurts her more than he means to while Tigerclaw goads him on to hurt her further. Redtail is horrified at how rapidly events are getting out of hand when her mentor, Stagleap, shows up. Stagleap is horrified over how his apprentice was treated by two warriors and is about to get into a fight with Tigerclaw, who acts as if they haven't done anything wrong, when Sorrelpaw gets to her feet. He decides instead to take Sorrelpaw back to their camp and report on the situation to Heatherstar. Redtail knows he was only defending their territory but he feels that he has done something wrong.

Back at camp they report to Sunstar what happened but Tigerclaw completely lies, making it sound as if the entire thing was WindClan's fault and they are out for a fight. He tries to pressure Sunstar into attacking WindClan and pressure Redtail into backing him up. Sunstar says he will bring this up at the Gathering that night and see what happens. At the Gathering Sunstar and Heatherstar discuss what happened, both saying they heard different versions of the story. Redtail hopes it will blow over but Tigerclaw deliberately makes a comment, loud enough for Sunstar to hear, that Heatherstar is trying to make Sunstar look weak. Sunstar takes on a more aggressive stance and Redtail worries a battle could erupt right there. The other two clan leaders break up the Gathering before things can go any further. Redtail seeks out Stagleap to ask after Sorrelpaw. Stagleap tells Redtail that there is more to being a warrior than fighting. They agree to talk to their leaders to see if they can calm the situation down. But as Redtail rejoins his clan he sees Tigerclaw speaking with Sunstar and Bluefur and realizes he might be too late. Back at camp the announcement is made that tomorrow they attack the WindClan camp. Redtail is devastated knowing that now he cannot undo anything. He tells Tigerclaw this is wrong, however Tigerclaw disagrees with him and is looking forward to the battle.

It took me a moment to remember who Redtail is - he is he deputy that Tigerclaw murders. This story actually strikes me as kind of sad. Not just because I already know Redtail's fate, but because of how clearly he is being manipulated by Tigerclaw. The backhanded compliments, the implications that Redtail is inferior, the constant playing on Redtail's emotions, the goading of Redtail, the lying he forces Redtail to be a part of. The bonus is Redtail is starting to question Tigerclaw and his motives and advice. But will he get out from under Tigerclaw's thumb before the end? I imagine so. He manages to become deputy, assumably in his own right, before Tigerclaw becomes deputy. And, like I said, he is starting to realize there is something wrong with Tigerclaw and he is starting to reject it, even if it is just in his private thoughts. Reaching out to Stagleap was a huge step in the right direction - and listening to Stagleap's advice about Tigerclaw instead of outright rejecting him is pretty huge as well.

3 books & reading goals: 2021

I've decided for this year that we are just sticking to our 3 book goal. We have to finish book 8 of The Wheel of Time. I'm hoping we do that as well as read books 9, 10, & 11. If that happens, next year our goal can be 12, 13, & 14 leaving just A New Spring to be finished whenever.

I am also only going to focus on my own reading goals for this year. Currently I have a goal of 12 books. I think I am going to run with that idea and break the year (including the few weeks of last year) into five 12 week blocks. Each block the number of books I aspire to read will be different. I think this will work for me for this year. What I will do in 2022 I'm not sure. Hopefully things will be somewhat back to normal by then.

So, the 5 blocks are:

1. Tuesday November 24, 2020 - Friday February 12, 2021
2. Saturday February 13, 2021 - Monday May 3, 2021
3. Tuesday May 4, 2021 - Friday July 23, 2021
4. Saturday July 24, 2021 - Monday October 11, 2021
5. Tuesday October 12, 2021 - Friday December 31, 2021

I am also looking forward to returning to blogging! I made the goal a couple years ago to not start any new book series, but instead finish off all the series I am currently working on. I'm almost done with Mrs Jeffries (I didn't blog about those) and I'm looking forward to putting a serious dent in the Warriors series. Apparently I'm two hexalogies behind - not counting super editions and novellas! There is also always Wings of Fire. And there are other series that I am looking to sink my teeth back into (Ranger's Apprentice and The Last Apprentice pop into my head - I started them years ago and never finished).

So, here are my tentative goals for 2021. Talk to you soon!

*(This post has been edited. I did not realize I screwed up my math and made block 2 only 8 weeks long until I went to do a post about block 2. I had to redo my math and to finish 5 blocks by the end of 2021 each block is only 11 1/2 weeks long. I'm still sticking with the "12 books in 12 weeks" theme, however. Alliteration, after all.) 

3 books: final notes and stats 2020

Ha! Monthly posts about the books we are reading! I'm not getting into why that didn't happen. You can check out my previous post 12 books in 12 weeks if you are curious. but I will tell you what we read for 2020.

Total family books read: 8

The list:

1. The Hobbit
2. The Eye of the World
3. The Great Hunt
4. The Dragon Reborn
5. The Shadow Rising
6. The Fires of Heaven
7. Lord of Chaos
8. A Crown of Swords

We have not finished Path of Daggers in time to make it on this list. I'm hoping we will finish it by the end of January. I'm currently debating 2021 goals. Hopefully there will be a post in a few days to follow up on this.

12 books in 12 weeks: overview

Looking back on my January reading goals they seem so... optimistic. I had no clue a global pandemic would occur. I had no clue a shutdown would happen. I had no clue I would sit at home for months, quarantining, wondering when I would return to work and my children to school. One would think in this perfect storm of events I would read SO MANY books. So many! All of that free time! Sitting around the house! Doing nothing! So many books!

Yeah, I think I read three.

I did paint the entire interior of my house. That was good. We did three rooms last spring/summer so I figured three rooms again this year was a good goal. Instead it was seven - nine, if you want to include the two hallways. One of the rooms was painted twice because after I painted it I decided I hated it and needed to rethink my strategy. Technically the painting isn't done. After months sitting around the house stressing about my job I finally started working from home so I never got to finish. All of the closets and doors need to be done still. I'm thinking that is a couple of weekends in 2021.

There were two funerals. In the middle of a global pandemic, people dying from complications due to covid everywhere, I lost two family members in the spring. My grandmother to a fall. She had Alzheimer's. She forgot to use her cane. She ended up in the hospital on a morphine drip. We got to do one video chat with her where she was really out of it. She only lasted a couple of days. We never got to do a second video chat. Then, my cousin. Also to a fall. We were close growing up but had fallen out over the years. She had been working on straightening her life out. I've been working on picking up the pieces of mine. She fell walking down the street and hit her head so hard she blacked out. A passing EMT happened to find her and call 911. She was taken to the hospital and treated. The following day they realized she was brain dead. So arbitrary. Two people. Both to falls.

Summer was relatively quiet, but October was crazy. My brother's house burned down. He and his pregnant girlfriend and their dogs got out. The house was completely destroyed. They lost pretty much everything. We lost power for 4 days, during a bad wind storm. Mini tornadoes actually damaged so many houses around us. My mother and step father, who just moved around the corner from us, had their roof destroyed. So many neighbors had trees fall on their houses. I was incredibly grateful I happened to have the huge pine tree in my backyard taken down just a couple weeks prior. Our house was lucky enough to escape unscathed. We lost two shingles off of our front steps, which my uncle replaced. One of my twins went to the ER for a body temperature of 95.5. He was diagnosed with diabetes. As upsetting as that entire experience was everyone told me we caught it shockingly quick - that children are normally sick for months and eventually fall into a coma before anyone realizes that something is seriously wrong. 

With all of this going on, on top of a pandemic, a quarantine, and a shutdown... is it really surprising that I only read a couple of books? I think not. I did listen to quite a few audio books while painting, but other than that... nothing. Instead I listened to a lot of TV while working on jigsaw puzzles. When I am stressed out they soothe me.

And we did read quite a lot as a family. Not only did we read The Hobbit, but we have read SEVEN Wheel of Time books!!! The Eye of the World through The Crown of Swords!!! And, we are currently about 3/4 of the way through The Path of Daggers. 

Life has been stressful, but life has been good. And for every tragedy I am reminded of our blessings.

And I think I'm finally ready to read again. I'm not sure I'm ready to blog again - I had intended to blog all about The Wheel of Time but I suppose I will have to save my thoughts for the fourth time I read the book series - but I figure I will take it slow. My current goal is starting tomorrow, for the next 12 weeks (84 days) I want to read 12 books. Since I normally read 2-3 books a week I am hoping to crush this goal. But I'm also setting the bar low. This has been a crazy year and I'm not setting a goal of 24 books just to be disappointed I couldn't focus enough to meet it. I'm hoping the end result will be 13 because I'm hoping we will finish The Path of Daggers, but we shall have to see. We have been struggling with family reading time as we try to adapt to this ever changing craziness of 2020. And, considering I have only read a few books so far this quarantine I might end up with only 8 books. And that is okay.

So, hopefully I will see you again in 12 weeks with a list of 12+ books! Happy reading!

a shadow in riverclan

Featherpaw and Stormpaw are at their warrior ceremony. Leopardstar asks Featherpaw if she will serve and protect her clan, even at the cost of her life. This question causes Featherpaw to reflect on her past. She thinks back on the death of her mother, how so many other cats viewed her and her brother as half clan, and how her father, Graystripe, ultimately had to return to ThunderClan. She and Stormpaw take their vows and are renamed Feathertail and Stormfur. This should be the happiest moment of Feathertai's life - but it is not. As Feathertail and Stormfur stand vigil, Feathretail reflects back on the rise of TigerClan, the imprisonment of half clan cats, and how Stonefur was murdered, how Graystripe saved them. She remembers the battle that followed and how Leopardstar asked them to return to RiverClan. Feathertail confesses to Stormfur that she wonders if they made the wrong choice. Should they have stayed with ThunderClan? But Stormfur feels they need to put the past in the past and move forward. Feathertail tries, but she feels she cannot trust any of her clanmates, so she pulls away from them. One day Ferncloud accidentally chases a squirrel onto RiverClan land. Feathertail kills it and offers it to her. Some RiverClan warriors overhear and it turns into a fight. Feathertail is in trouble with Leopardstar asks her how she can betray her clan this way but Feathertail feels Leopardstar is the real traitor. Stormfur tells Feathertail that she needs to pick what clan she wishes to be loyal to, as she cannot be loyal to both. 

Sasha and her kits, Moth and Hawk, stray onto RiverClan territory. Blackclaw wants Leopardstar to chase them away, but Feathertail speaks up for them and Leopardstar listens to her. Feathertail is jealous of how easily Sahsa, Mothkit, and Hawkkit fit into clan life. She feels they are more accepted than she is. One day Hawk falls into the river and Feathertail saves him. Because of this, she and Sasha start to grow a friendship. Feathertail asks after the kits' father and Sasha tells her he is dead. Because of her friendship with Sasha, Feathertail starts opening up to her clanmates. She even confides in Sasha about what Tigerstar did to her and her brother. When Leopardstar names herself as Hawkpaw's mentor and Mistyfoot as Mothpaw's mentor Feathertail knows Leopardstar is doing this to show the new apprentices are fully clan cats. But she worries about Leopardstar's influence on Hawkpaw. One day Sasha confesses to Feathertail that Tigerstar is her kits father. Feathertail feels betrayed by this secret. She doesn't blame the kits and doesn't want to see them cast out of the clan, but her friendship with Sasha is over. She starts to withdraw from the clan once again. Sasha tells Feathertail that she is leaving. She worries if she joins the clan then everyone will realize who her kits' father is. 

Time passes and winter comes. A fox attacks the camp and Hawkpaw saves Feathertail and Stormfur. Leaopardstar is grateful to the apprentice but Feathertail feels her words are a lie. The next day Leopardstar puts together a patrol to make sure the fox is gone for good. She takes Hawkpaw, Feathertail, and Stormfur. They find the fox and fight. Leopardstar sacrifices herself to save her clanmates, and for the first time Feathertail realizes her leader really does care about her. She attacks the fox, unwilling to let Leopardstar lose a life. On the walk home she and Leopardstar finally make peace between them. At the next Gathering Leopardstar tells everyone how Feathertail and Stormfur saved her life. Feathertail finally realizes she has found her home and starts to let her clanmates back in again. One night she dreams of Oakheart, who tells her that her clan needs her, and that she might not survive. Feathertail happily accepts her duty, as she now knows loyalty to her clan and will do anything to see them survive.

This was such a sad story. I'm glad to see things from Feathertail's perspective as she never really had a voice. And it makes sense why she would fall for Crowfeather, since she was struggling to find acceptance within her own clan. I always assumed that if either of them struggled it was Stormfur. After all, I assumed when cats look at Feathertail they would see Silverstream but when they looked at Stormfur they would see Graystripe. And Stormfur was the one to leave them for the Tribe and Brook. Feathertail had a very difficult life. Much of it was her own fault for pulling away and not letting any cat in, but that is a logical reaction to the level of betrayal she experienced. But in the end she found acceptance and died a true warrior to her clan, and I think she would have found peace in that.

the wheel of time

First of all, I want to say I am so thrilled to be rereading these books - and to my children! My first time reading them easily spanned 10-15 years. You tend to forget even the most basic things when that happens. I remember reading one of the books in the middle and going "who the hell is Egeanin and why do I care about her?!?" That was how spaced out my reading was. The second time through it took me a few years (which is understandable considering how many books there are) but I read it straight through (well, as straight through as I'm capable of reading considering I usually have 6 different books going at once) and walked away with a much better grasp of the story line.

This time I'm thrilled to not only be sharing my absolute favorite book series ever with my children, but I'm also looking forward to paying attention to certain themes. Specifically, I want to pay attention to all of the prophecies and symbolism as well as the Forsaken. I want to dive deeper into Min's viewings, Egwene's dreams, and Elaida's foretellings. The moments when someone says something either prophetic or foreshadowing without realizing it - and by these moments I don't mean Siuan sitting around musing how she can be stilled for what she is doing. That is a given. Rather, I mean Egwene sneaking Rand around so he can avoid the Amyrlin, and Moiraine thinking to herself that if Egwene isn't careful she will be Amyrlin herself one day. And, of course, the Forsaken. I always have a hard time following them around from book to book. I always forget where they are currently and when they pop up I am always caught off guard. Some of the male Forsaken I have a hard time keeping straight. The females I can always keep separate because their motivations are so diverse, but the men all seem to roughly want the same thing and be motivated by the same thing - half of them seem to be doing this because they are jealous of Lews Therin. Them I do have a hard time keeping straight. And, like I said, I always forget where they are and when they pop up I'm always wondering if I should have remembered something or if I'm even keeping them straight.

So, I will have the posts that follow 4-5 chapters each. However, it will not be the major breakdown that most other books get from me. The chapters are just too long and have too much crammed into them. I could probably do one post for each chapter and still feel like I'm leaving important information out. Plus, I'm sure I will be reading these books a fourth time again one day. No point in covering everything the first time through! As I read maybe I will see another theme I want to explore.